coping

Often it can be difficult to talk with your healthcare professional. You may be afraid of asking a "stupid" question or appearing naive about your diagnosis. Well the fact is, you probably are naive and therefore require a patient clinician who can answer all of your questions.

Make a list of questions in advance and write down the answers you are given. Try not to allow yourself to feel intimidated or pressured. If you desire the HPV test, say so. If your doctor refuses the test, or any other reasonable request relating to your care, ask why. You are your biggest advocate on this journey, so speak up, speak out, and learn as much as you can about your particular diagnosis and treatment.

Until such time as a vaccine is available for men to protect against at least some of the numerous strains of cancer causing HPV, women will continue to be exposed. There is no test for men to determine whether or not you have HPV unless of course you have a visible lesion. Typically symptoms are very rare in men (although men can develope penile and anal cancer from HPV). This is why men are unaware that they are transmitting the virus to their partners. The use of condoms is always a good idea however HPV is contracted by skin to skin contact, no intercourse required, so keep this in mind in relation to oral sex as well. HPV has been shown to be linked to throat and lung cancer.

You may feel ashamed, angry or guilty about having exposed your partner to HPV. Once contracted, there is no "cure" for the virus. The best thing you can do, is to be as supportive of your partner as possible. HPV can remain dormant for years after exposure so recent diagnosis does not mean your partner has been unfaithful. Use the internet to learn what you can about HPV. The HPV health boards are there for men as well and can help you to cope during this time.

Being diagnosed with HPV can bring about a watershed of emotions. These can include anger, fear, dread, shame, embarrassment and many others. Statistics indicate that half of all women will have HPV at some time in their lives so realize you are not alone. Reach out to others through the internet, particularly the HPV health boards. Here you can share your story and obtain feedback from other newly diagnosed patients and those who have been dealing with HPV for years.

Remember that you did nothing to "ask" for this. You are not a "bad" or "immoral" person because you have contracted HPV (or any other sexually transmitted disease for that matter). Remember too, that you are not alone. (See HPV boards above.)

One of the most important things you can do is to begin developing a support system. This may be comprised of friends, family members or others. If you have a limited support system, or wish to expand the one you have, consider registering at one of the many health boards for HPV.

Initially, you will probably talk a great deal about your diagnosis and your treatments. You may even need to express feelings of depression typically perceived as negativity by others. As a result, you may need to "rotate" your supporters so not to overwhelm them. This is where the online HPV boards can be a true lifeline. There is total anonymity allowing you to post freely. Most individuals have gone through, or are going through your same issues and it can be a big relief when you realize that you are not alone. Sites include: Inspire.com; HealthBoards.com; and EmpowHer.com.

As with any serious conversation, plan in advance and allow sufficient time to both discuss, and answer questions regarding HPV. Recognize that her friends parents (and consequently her friends) may have differing opinions including whether or not to receive the Gardasil vaccine.

Realize that your daughter may be embarrassed. Providing her with written information that she can refer to at a later time may therefore be helpful. Of course, you can provide her with the link to this site as well.

The key is open, nonjudgmental communication that will encourage your daughter to return to you should she have questions or concerns in the future. Utilize this link to print out information on HPV: HPV Brochure

Any Mother's Daughter, Copyright 2009. All Rights Reserved. Disclaimer: This site is designed for educational purposes only and is not engaged in rendering medical advice or professional services. Information provided should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or disease. This is not a substitute for professional care. If you suspect you may have a health problem consult your healthcare provider. Copyright 2009. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is strictly prohibited.